Got up to have breakfast and check that John was still alive. The woman asked me every five seconds how it was, so I had to eat all the fried stuff. We then set off using my map reading skills, but unfortunately got lost for around half an hour, which was a bitch since I had two bags and John was slowly dying [We repacked in the morning, to redistribute the weight, putting some things from my bag into a second day bag for Robert]. Eventually we asked some Irish guy where to go and got back underway.
We were found by Mum, who picked up John and gave me some decent water to drink. The next five miles were boring. When we got to have lunch it turned out Grandma and Grandad had had a mad falling out with Auntie Tricia and had crashed [to clarify, we went on to a village to have some lunch, and Robert arrived by foot to join us. Meanwhile we heard the news that our relatives had been in a quarrel, and in their escape had managed to get in a minor car accident]. John’s going to Hedge’s to recoup prior to the last day, so as not to die [Heather "Hedge" Combe is a family friend and London resident].
I got to the outskirts of Luton after a t-shirt-soakingly hot day [I am simply transcribing Robert’s account word for word, except where the words are illegible]. I got to a Homebase outside Luton and asked a payment guy (cashier?) which town I was in, to which he paused as if I was testing him, and then said: “Luton?”
When I got to the hotel the guy took ages to find my booking. After finding it he then questioned if I was a UK national, unsatisfied by my response he requested to see my ID, and then insisted on double checking my debit card just to be certain, damn my pseudo-american accent.
I met up with James and Euan (who was going on about his penis as usual). Euan laughed at his own remarks, and then farted (standard). We took thirty minutes finding a meal and then Euan moaned about the stringy pasta. He then refused to purchase coconut ice-cream on racist grounds, he then brutally attacked us with Cheddars (the non-mini variety) and we bought James a can of nourishment milk (after not being allowed to buy milk at the bar, even though there was plenty; evil barman).